This is love.
I always find myself constantly thinking about that one person. Its amazing how when you love someone as much as I love my baby Dean, every single thing reminds me of him and takes me to a place in my head where I find comfort and love. A simple sound, a certain smell, some random place we passed by while holding hands, everything makes me automatically think of him and I wouldnt want it any other way because that way I know that my day will be great. Dean is one special silly bum. Even though I fell in love with the typical things like his personality, his beautiful face, his funny laugh and smile, there was so much more than that. I fell in love literally a second after he started talking to me. I fell in love with the way he speaks, the way he walks into a room and brights it up just by smiling, the way he laughs and remembers things that happened 10 months ago, how he looks to my face when I’m talking to him, the comfortable silence between us because we dont need words to describe how perfect every moment together is, his breathing when he’s sleeping or tired, or the way he calls me a loser and starts laughing and running away so I cant jump on him and beat his pretty bum. Every single detail about Dean is perfect, and there even are things that he does and has that I find absolutely adorable and he doesnt even know about. When he smiles he puts his tongue out, the way he holds my hand and we put our fingers together, his messy hair in the morning and his beautiful face when he’s tired. Those are the things I love the most about him and I’m always thinking to myself, ‘wow…how can such a perfect beautiful, sweet boy be mine?’. Even when we argue, like everyone else we get mad, frustrated and sad towards each other and it can be really hard, but after every argument, there’s always that moment of silence and suddenly all the anger goes away and I just look at him and think ‘I can’t stop loving you. I love him with my life and I can be mad at him for so long and we can be so mean to eachother but I love him’. Is like, everything goes away and all I feel like doing is to kiss his face, tell him that I love him so much and tell him sorry. That silence makes me focus on what’s really important and how I really feel, I love him. Every single ray of anger goes away, and that is love. Love is the ability to not stopping caring and loving one person, even if the world between them breaks down and ends. I’m sorry that I’m human and I do stupid stuff, even if I dont mean to do them Dean. I’m sorry for being jealous and have no self confidence and just mess up with things sometimes, I guess its my insecurities speaking up. But I do know that no matter how horrible the situation must look like in a certain moment, one thing I know for sure, I love you so fucking much. And you’ll never find anyone else who loves you like I do, because you’re my absolute life. I just wish I could hold his face right now, look deep into his eyes and tell him “I’m sorry, I love you baby, and I dont ever want you to go”.
